I am writing a dissertation for my PhD in English and I spend way more time wondering if I am doing any of this right, or doing any of it enough, than I do actually working on my diss.
Some days I work 2 hours.
But I still get it done. It gets done, and, honestly, it's usually pretty good. My committee members mostly agree that I'm doing something new, something important. They mostly agree that my biggest challenge is organization of ideas. That's because when I write, I just get it out and then send it off.
I think I'm being too hard on myself. The above sentence does not include the fact that I agonize over sentences sometimes. That I have actually printed out a chapter draft, cut it into pieces, surrounded myself with those pieces on the floor and tried to put it all together again. I'm apparently the worst perfectionist ever. I want everything to be perfect, but then I don't do all the work required. Or do I?
Am I making a blind assumption that this should be harder? Maybe it's OK that I can write a dissertation with 2-4 hours of work a day? (Sometimes 6. That's rare though, really.) See, it wouldn't help to ask anyone who's ever written a dissertation before because there's a secret contest all us grads and profs have: I work harder and sleep less than you. I don't believe any of it whenever someone tries to convince me that they are getting 4 hours of sleep and working 14 hours a day. Maybe those 14 hours are spent checking e-mail. If that's the case, then I work way harder than that.
I am trying to do one of these two things:
1. Work more.
2. Be OK with the fact that I don't work all day -- as long as it gets done it's all good.
I'm not sure which one I should choose.
Well, I'm off to do some work. Before dinner, and LOST of course, I may get 4 hours done today. And I bet it will be good.
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2 comments:
I love how this has been an issue for as long as I have known you, and yet you still accomplish so much. You and Ty should sit down and talk. He's got some great stories about working (and not working) on his Ph.d. Keep it up! 2 hours sounds great to me!
Love,
Jam
P.S. Do you totally love the new season of LOST or what?
I hear ya, loud and clear! I, too, am one of those "frustrated perfectionists" who starts a million projects, then never finishes any of them.
Your first goal is good; your second is even better. But have you considered goal 3: work to the best of your ability, without sweating TOO much over the small stuff, and then leaving the final proofing, rewriting, etc. until the end, or the end of certain sections? That way you will still be successful in getting a lot of work done (plowing through it) without feeling like it all has to be ABSOLUTELY perfect.
And maybe set some time goals for yourself, too... like, "I'll work 45 minutes, then take a 15-minute tea break/nap/whatever; then work another 45 minutes, then take a 15-minute break; then work an hour, then take the rest of the day off and reward myself with something inexpensive, relaxing, or just something I enjoy - a walk in the park, etc."
The method I mentioned above was something suggested to me by my piano teacher in college so that I would (1) maximize the quality of my practice time and (2) not overdue it or hurt my body. It was a very good suggestion, and I sometimes use it even to this day for other large projects (i.e., break them down into smaller projects, one hour or chore per day, for instance).
Anyhow, hope my advice helped. But I know you've already got it goin' on!
Do good, but not TOO good! *smile*
Love ya,
Abigail
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